"The Highs And Lows Of Being Number One"

You're like a rolling stone on a treadmill 
You're like a four-leaf clover on a battlefield 
It was an easy wind, a real cool place
Like a big nose on a pretty face 
You've got a ponytail of thinning hair 
Send a get-well card that showed you cared 
And I'm sending out a search party 
It's like Jonestown all over again 

Ups and downs and there you go 
It's the highs and lows of being number one 

Is that a highball in your Sprite can? 
It's a forgotten name from a one night stand 
Your chin's a bobby pin of a sewing machine 
Your eyes are flickering like it's Halloween 
I'm sending out my sympathies 
It's like Jonestown all over again 

Ups and downs and there you go 
It's the highs and lows of being number one 

Is that a doctor's note for a heartache? 
Or a poisoned cup from your own P.A.? 
It's like a compliment from your right hand 
It's like Jonestown all over again 

Ups and downs and there you go 
It's the highs and lows of being number one 

In the club it always hides the brick 
The drums hide the fact that you can't sing 

Ups and downs and there you go 
It's the highs and lows of being number one